Tuesday, August 5, 2014

A Night Away Part 2

There was a little bit of information Richard didn't share about the hotel until last night while we were talking about my post after I read it to him.  He of course loves that I have referred to him as Richard Gere. Go figure! Though he says he is not a billionaire and he does not own the company he works for. LOL. OK a few tidbits I left out because HE left them out.  Richard was also impressed that I made him look like a model like in the picture I posted.   The funniest thing is when he came to my house after work yesterday he had that exact outfit on. I kid you not!!!!  I wanted to take a pic of him just to show you but... he is not into pictures. LOL.  Though he is not quite the size of a model. LOL.  But neither am I.

Richard of course didn't want to share how much he was spending because he knows how thrifty I am with my money.  He revealed last night that when the guy told him the room cost $54.99 a night it should have been a tip off as to why there were still open rooms.  But NO!  LOL .  He also told me a little more about the hotel office.  This 1.5 star hotel had a pool.  Keyword is HAD.  He said the pool was closed and said it was "under construction."  My thoughts on that when he told me were 1. too many people were taking baths in there and they needed to take the P out of the ool.  I'm just saying.  Another explanation is that guys toilet that was overflowing... well, I'm hoping the plumbing was not connected to the pool.  Richard said "Could you imagine if the toilet water began to come up into the pool?" Uh no I'd rather not think about that at this time but I wouldn't doubt that it could happen in this hotel.  He then said the lobby looked like "Beirut." All I'm going to say is why did he spend 10-15 minutes in there?  That was 13-14 minutes to long!  As I was showing Richard where I found the hotel pictures on Google images I scrolled down and saw a mug shot of a guy.  Of course we were both intrigued and opened it up.  Here there was a guy who was busted by the police at this hotel in 2011 for providing drugs, alcohol, and soliciting sex from minors.  Yes my friends... Richard will not be booking any more hotels for me in the near future without my approval. LOL.

So where were we with the story... ahhhh yes it is almost "show" time and I am still in my comfy clothes and our hotel is 1 hr and 15 min away.  I know many of you are probably like me and would be nagging I mean asking how and where we would be getting ready for the evening.  First, as you read this story please know Richard has the same exact sarcastic sense of humor as I do.  He still can't believe God created a woman just like him in that sense.  We were still laughing so hard about the hotel story last night I just about peed my pants. This is important to know.  So as I was gently  nagging reminding him we both needed to get ready.  I NEED to have a mirror to put my make up on and room to change my clothes. 

Me:  " Honey we NEED to change our clothes and I need to put makeup on."
Richard:  "Yes, babe I know."
Me:  "I KNOW we are not going to McDonald's, oh wait, that isn't classy enough for you... Burger King to change clothes!"
Richard: "No babe we could go to the Cleveland Clinic and use their restrooms."
Me: " Like the hospital Cleveland Clinic? Uh no!"

In the meantime, Richard is showing me around downtown Cleveland.  Such beautiful architecture, restaurants, and shops. These are just some of the things I saw.

The new Horseshoe Casino in Cleveland
 This is the gorgeous chandelier that was just added in front of Playhouse Square over the street corner.  It is huge!!!!  It is beautiful lit up at night.

And of course Tower City which is a huge mall.  It is actually the rounded building in the front.  I even suggested changing our clothes there as Richard drove right on past. 

OK this is not funny Richard. Where are we going to change!?!?!?!? Next thing I know he is like dang I missed it.  I was like missed what? That parking garage. Why are we parking in downtown Cleveland with no place in sight to change my clothes???  Next thing I know he is pulling into another parking garage. 

Me: "Ummm Richard where are we going to change our clothes?"
Richard: "I'm sure there is a restroom in the basement of this garage."
Me: "WHAT?!?!!? You can't be serious??? I will NOT be changing clothes in a nasty restroom in the bottom of a nasty parking garage in the middle of Cleveland!" NO!!!! Not happening!!!! I know there are crazy people hanging out there waiting for me in there to come in." No, nada, not happening, forget it. I would rather change in the car than do that!"

Richard is now looking for a parking space in the garage.  There are plenty of spaces and he pulls in to one just beyond the cement posts holding up the garage.  It is on the corner where everyone coming into the garage can see through the front windshield then as they are turning the corner in the passenger side of the vehicle.  Richard and I are sitting there trying to decide what to. Time is ticking away until the show starts.  Luckily we are still full from lunch that we decided we would eat dinner after the show.  Finally, I looked at him and said "I don't know about you, but I am changing right here in the car."  The look of horror on his face was priceless!!! LOL I was like don't tell me you have never had to change clothes in a car.  He was like no way.  WHAAAAAT!?!?!? You can't be serious?!?!?!? Look at my face I am dead serious.  This is the safest place around.  He informed me he would not be standing outside the car putting his pants on.  LOL. OK do what you want, but I am changing here! Mind you we are still parked on the corner space with cars coming in and out of the garage.  I know he thought I was kidding.  I grabbed my bag out of the back of the car and got my clothes out.  He just sat there staring in disbelief.  This is where Mr. Planner oh and Mr. OCD, which I never told you about, was pushed to his limit.  I think he finally realized I wasn't kidding.  I am a master at changing without anyone seeing anything because my dress was a pullover my head one as I was sitting in the front seat.  He on the other hand is 6' tall and decided to try and change in the backseat.  LOL All I heard was grunts and complaints the entire time.  "I can't believe we are doing this." "This is really difficult." "Could you please move the driver seat forward. There is not enough room back here."  I swear he was worse than a little girl!  I will give him that he had pants and a button up shirt but come one he played sports in school and I know boys change on buses all the time. Sheesh!!! By the time he was finished complaining I was attempting to put my makeup on in the visor mirror that has 2 little 1 watt bulbs around the mirror.  I'm sure I looked like a clown by the end and had the big makeup line around my face, but I did it! LOL.  I am trying to put gel in my hair to tame the wild messy mane of mine and he is trying to tuck his shirt in.  I have never in my life seen a man obsessed about how his shirt is tucked in and if it looks evenly pulled out all the way around.  My goodness, you would have thought he was going to be on a modeling runway somewhere.  I jumped out the car straightened up my dress and was ready to go.  Viola!!!!! LOL.  The only thing I can say I am thankful about is that he is bald or otherwise we would have been there longer waiting on him to fix his hair!

We walked to 4th St.  This was the most amazing place I have ever gone.  It was absolutely gorgeous.  There were restaurants with outdoor dining, coffee shops, beautiful flowers... 

We enjoyed some frozen frappes at a coffee shop sitting outside on the street people watching until it was time for the "show."  He had gotten tickets to Hilarities comedy club.  We love to laugh and the acts surely did not disappoint.  I laughed so hard I though I would either pee my pants or puke.  OK the iced tea I was drinking didn't help in the peeing part.  My anxiety was doing ok until we went to leave the club when a bunch of people are trying to stampede up the steps which are only made for 2 people to walk up side by side.  I think Richard may have had a hand left.  He told me if I got anxious to grab his hand and boy did I.  Next was dinner.  We went to this great little Irish pub.

We sat outside in the cool clear evening and ate dinner.  There were about 3-4 bachelorette parties going on that night.  The conversations going on at the tables full of men around us were absolutely hilarious when they walked by.  Most of the men were married and were talking about their own woes at home. LOL.  Richard was over hearing them behind him.  Luckily I didn't hear it. LOL. The people watching was the best I've had in years.  We were making up stories to go with the people as they walked by.  Body language will tell you everything about someone. LOL. 

Of course we were both stuffed, but Richard told me we would not be leaving without hitting this place up.

The Chocolate Bar... No I was not there for their martini's but their cheesecake!  He said I would be mad if I went home without it.  So, he dragged me in kicking and screaming. OK I beat him in the door. Oh my word!!!! If you visit Cleveland you must stop here!  It was packed!!!! We ordered our cheesecake to go. It was getting late so we said goodbye to Cleveland and headed back to the infamous hotel.  LOL

Ah yes...this is more like a hotel!!!! LOL.  It was very clean and comfortable.  The best part was there was a Keurig in the room as well as a mini fridge for my turtle cheesecake. :-)  Now this is living!!!! I even got to hear the knock knock "housekeeping" in the morning just like in the movie "Tommy Boy"  LOL. The rest of the trip was pretty uneventful.  The cheesecake was eaten for breakfast but shhhhh don't tell my kids. LOL.  You are suppose to eat a healthy breakfast each and every day.  We did eat lunch at a local Bob Evans.  Richard and I have on ongoing joke about our ages.  We are exactly 5 days apart.  Same year and everything.  The joke is he is dating a younger woman.  He told me he has dated older women in the past.  I joke with him that they must be cougars if they are dating him.  Next thing I know a lady dressed somewhat like this walked in to Bob Evans...

Ok she had jeans on that had a leopard print cuff turned up on the bottom but did have a shirt like this.  She was probably about 74 years old.  You can only imagine the conversation that ensued.  What a perfect ending to a perfect weekend! LOL

So there you have it my first weekend away.  Only me!!! It would be such an adventure.  Lots of laughs and very memorable.  Richard apologized a couple times that it didn't go as planned.  I told him I wouldn't have wanted it any other way!!!! I had an awesome time!!!! It would be something to remember forever.
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Joann Powell said...

Loved every single detail <3

Sheila said...

This one is certainly one for the scrapbook..........I LOL till the end. Very happy for you that you had a great weekend away.
I hope you have more of them Mary!

Martha Doe said...

Very Funny stuff!

Just be careful making fun of 74 yr old women, I'm 75. Love jeans but please skip the leopard!Lol

Kathleen Woodbury said...

So happy you had a great time!! You are quite the story teller too! Thanks Mary!

Prims By The Water said...

OMG I had a blast reading your adventure. What memories you made on just one overnight date...you will be talking about if for a long time. TFS Janice