Thursday, November 6, 2008

Day By Day...



That is now my new motto. He is gone as of Monday night and has told me he doesn't want to work on the marriage or seek counseling. He comes in the mornings to see the kids still though. His stuff is still here as he has been sleeping in his truck or at his friend's house from work. The kids and I will be OK. Granted I can not afford all the bills on my own so I am out putting in applications in hopes of getting a job with health benefits. For now he has assured me he will help pay and will not drop me from the health insurance until I can get it for my DD sake and her meds. I saw a counselor yesterday, who advised me to see my physician for short term anti-depressive and anxiety meds. I go there tomorrow. For now sleeping is out of the question and so is eating. I did not cry today when he came over or while we were talking. I am so afraid of being alone with my kids. I am just so overwhelmed with everything. I am sorry that this blog has turned into a sad one and you all don't want to hear my problems. I will get through this no matter how it turns out.
Pin It

44 comments:

Janene said...

Mary~I am so glad that you decided to return.
I am praying for you.
You better eat something, you need to keep your strength up, for you and your kids.
I will be thinking of you.

~Janene~

Kindra said...

Mary, always know that you have friends here that are willing to listen and are behing you 100%! Thanks for posting...I know it's really hard right now and I hope things turn around for the better with you and your family soon. HUGS.

Jenn said...

Mary,

We're here for you NO MATTER WHAT!!

Linda said...

I am so sorry that this is happening to you and the kids. I pray that you find something with good benefits so that eases your mind. Mary we are here for you!! Come here when you need to talk or vent. Day by day is good. Sending lots of hugs, Linda

My*Prim*Cottage said...

Unfortunately Mary, I have been down the road you are now traveling. I am here for you and I am praying for you. You will get through this, I did and life will go on and though it doesn't seem so right now, it will be better, you will be better! Hugs! ~Beth~

Sandy said...

Mary as the others said...we are always here for you. That is what I love about blogging...nobody judges you here and they listen and respond so well. So any time you need to vent...let it out. That is what I was always told...when writing it out, it helps heal the soul.

Take care of yourself and the kids. They need their mommy.

Sandy

THE SANDY DOG BAKERY said...

still saying prayers for you, Mary! Blogging will be good therapy and we're all hear to offer a shoulder!!

janie said...

Sending lots of hugs to you Mary!. You have to eat something and sleep, you need to be there for your kids. We are here for you no matter what!!Keeping everyone in my prayers, stay strong, I know it is hard. Janie

Char said...

Mary, take care of yourself and family....you will get thru this as you say, "one day at a time"!

basketsnprims said...

Mary, I am just so very sorry for what you are going through. I am glad you are seeing the doctor and a counselor to help you get through this awful time. I hope you can eat ~ I think you said in a previous post a good wind would blow you away. I will keep your family in my prayers and like you said, just go day by day.

Hugs to you,

Pam

CozyCoops Corner said...

Mary, I'm so sorry that you are going through this very hard time. You have to remember that everything will be okay and you will make it through this even though that is so hard to see right now. I pray that God will give you strength, comfort, and peace through all this. I'm also so glad that you are still blogging.:-)
Janae

~The Robin's Nest~ said...

Mary,
I am glad you are posting and telling us what is going on in your life-That way we can be here for you and pray for your needs.
I know you don't feel like eating at this time-I'm very much like you in that way. But try eating small things(crackers, cheese, etc.) because you need to for strength and to be able to be there for your kids. If you don't eat you are going to get weak and sick-So do this one thing for yourself and your kids. I wish I could be there to help you and give you a big hug. Know that you are in my prayers.
Robin~♥

Peper Creek Gatherings said...

Mary, What do you think we are here for? We all have created special friendships, even though a lot of us have never met.. WE are all here for you.. just take it day by day. Justina

~Jess said...

Sweetie, we're all here for you, regardless of the happy or sad times *hugs*

One thing at a time.You're all in my prayers.

Kimberly said...

Mary, I don't know what's left to say... we are all here for you with prayers and the knowledge that you will get through this. I think as long distance friends, we've all learned to see each other's strengths as we read between the lines of eath other's daily messages to eath other. Take good care of yourself because that is what your children need the most from you. I'm praying that you will see God today at just the right moment... like in your sunrise picture... because He will never leave you!
Blessings, Kimberly

Leslie said...

Mary,
I, too, am happy to see that you are still posting! You may feel all alone but you're not and many of us are here and will read and be supportive and helpful.

I'm sorry that your husband has decided that he would rather sleep in a truck or away from home than try working on things. Maybe time away will change his mind...I don't know. If it doesn't, please know that no matter what YOU will be okay! You are a wonderful person and I'm sure you'll make it through this and be just fine. It's just going to take time.

Hugs!

Leslie

millerhomestead said...

Cast your cares upon the Lord for He cares for you. I am sorry that you are going through this night mare. I pray that God will be your strength, comfort, hope, and peace. God bless, Jamie

the purple plum said...

I am so glad to hear from you.Please stay strong and eat something.Sending love and prayers your way.Michelle

Lauren said...

Mary...know that no matter what you have an amazing group of women here to pray for you and support you when times are tough. And also know that no matter what God is in control...though it may not feel like it at this time, He truly is. Just trust in Him that things will work out for the very best. Rely on Him...He will bring you through this like no one else can! God bless you and your family! <3Lauren

This Country Girl said...

Mary,

Any words I can think of to write just seem so inadequate...but I want you to know sincerely that I'm thinking of you and praying for you, your kids, and your husband. Day by day is a good motto and just trust God...and writing is good...don't worry about anything being too sad...just write...it's good for you...and we're all friends here visiting and reading because we WANT to and we care about you! I wish I could hug you in person! My heart just goes out to you!

Tammy

KATHY OF SWEETHOME GARDENS said...

Mary...I am sooo glad to see your still posting...we do care for you...I pray for your strength ...yes one day at a time is all you need to focus on.

Blessings,
Kathy

simple~needs said...

mary, we are here for you. thats what friends are for. blogging is a way to reach out. whatever the reason.. so you post WHAT you feel!!! we will listen........
i have been there , in the same way. had the same feelings..
dont fret about the insurance. you need to go sign up for child support NOW. it takes months for it to go into effect.i know he says he will help out but things change rapidly......
health care is also one of the issues that is addressed in support...
do you want his things there?? i can tell you that it makes things unsettled. would it help to at least pack them away or in a storage area?
it helps to clear your head by not looking at things everyday.
life is a journey, a long ride. sometimes the road gets bumpy, sometimes there are huge
wash outs ... but we will go the ride with ya no matter how rough it gets.
if you need some help with anything or just want someone to listen.. let me know. you can call me!!!
kim

Anonymous said...

OH MARY I'M SO SORRY THIS IS HAPPENING TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY. BUT TRUST ME YOU WILL BE OK. WHEN I LEFT MY X-HUSBAND I DIDN'T THINK I COULD MAKE IT EITHER, BUT I DID. THE POWER PRAYER CAN DO WONDERS.LET FRIENDS AND FAMILY HELP YOU. RIGHT YOU REALLY NEED THEM. E-MAIL IF YOU JUST WANT TO TALK.

TAMMY SMITH
primjunkbug@yahoo.com

Thistledew Farm said...

Small steps girlfriend...

Karen said...

Mary, I'm praying for you. I've heard that this is harder to deal with than death, and I believe it, actually been there/done that. Keep looking to the Lord for your comfort, your heart-keeper, your soul-provider. He knows what you're going through, He sees clear through to the end and he will get you to the other side.
Mary, I encourage you to just wrap up in Him. Don't go through any of it alone, you need Christian friends who can help carry the burden with you. Karen

Tiffany said...

Mary,

Please remember that I love you with all my heart! You have not only been a wonderful SIL to me, but also an amazing friend. I am here for you if you need me...so please don't feel that because I am from his side of the family that I don't care about what you are feeling and going through! Keep you head up...I love you!!!

XOXOXO,
Tiff

pinetrees on the moor said...

Mary, just to let you know you and all the family are in my thoughts and prayers,look after yourself i am glad to see you are still in blogland.Hugs~Kate~

Anonymous said...

Oh Mary, please always remember i am happy to 'listen' to you...no matter what.
You and the children are in my thoughts and prayers at this very difficult time.
One day at a time..a good motto...
Hang in there my sweet friend.
luv Ann.xx

Tomatoe Creek Prims said...

I was like you didn't eat or sleep, I just know where you are coming from and my heart aches for you. I do wish though at that time in my life I had this blog...what a help it would have been for me:)
Rondell

Raggedy Angel said...

Mary...take care of yourself,The meds are a good idea...go see your Doctor. Something wonderful is around the bin for you....Believe it!
Big Hugs, Beth

Wendy said...

You and your family are on my heart Mary. Please take care of yourself and know that God is with you. Wendy

Farm Girl Dreamer said...

Mary,

I am so sorry and know that i am here if you need me. You are a very strong woman and this too shall pass. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Nicole said...

Mary, I am so sorry for the heartache you must be going through right now. You will be in my thoughts and prayers!

ohiofarmgirl said...

I know you are a strong person and that you will take the bull by the horns and assure your kids that everything will be okay for them and for you....God bless you with wisdom and peace as you travel this terrible road. Dianntha

Farmchick said...

Oh my....I have not had time to do any blog visiting so this is the first I hear of this. I am so sorry Mary for your pain. I can only imagine how hard this is for you. I will keep you all in my prayers.....I pray for strength for you so that you are able to be strong for your children. Together you will get through this...and you always have all of us blogger friends. Take care of yourself....
Hugs~
Tania

Lea of Farmhouse Blessings said...

Just want you to know that I'm thinking of you with care, Mary.

Lea

Dena said...

Hello, we dont know each other,yet..... but wanted you to know Ive been where you are and I know the struggles. Hang in there and trust in God, He saw me thru. Just know you are never alone because He is always with you. Those are the thoughts that comforted me then and will many more times in my life I am sure. Prayers are with you.
Dena~

Dena said...

P.S. My motto was and stil is: Let it go! The things you can not deal with and are not priority, let them go. God, you and your children are your strengths and priorities all others will fall into place. Hope Ive helped if only briefly.
Dena

Marie said...

Mary, when I say I understand what you are going through, I mean it, my 1st husband left me with a 7 month old baby and it was so out of the blue I thought I would die, but I didn't. And neither will you. If you need a shoulder to cry on or someone to talk to about this you can email me... I have been there and understand exactly what you are feeling. The only thing I can say is that each day you will get a little stronger... it will happen, and then one day you will you will have more good than bad and you will know you are healing... please...lean on us. and like I said email me if you need a shoulder, I am here!!!

Karen from Alliance, Oh said...

Mary...I know exactly what you are going thru as my husband walked out on me 30 yrs go when my sons were only 2 and 6. You go thru stages..disbelief(after all there is not a woman alive who thinks this will ever happen to them), sadness, fear and the final stage anger. You need a really good support system, which I am sure you have,..someone to go to so you can cry and scream away from the children. We women are more resiliant than we are given credit for. I'll pray for you and your family.
Karen

Black Sheep Lisa said...

Prayers for you Mary, i know this is a terrible time, but you will get through this, you are a strong woman. God is with you and will help see you to more happy times.

Blu Rabbit Design said...

Dear Mary,
You are in my thoughts. Take care of yourself. Keep your chin up. Things will work out.
Peace.
Donna

Anonymous said...

Dear Mary~
I am so sorry this is happening in your life.
May God reach thru take your hand, and guide you thru this time with His Love and Strength~
(((Hugs)))
Debbie
3daughters

Julie said...

Mary,
I have used this thought many times as I have experienced challenges and trials: "God doesn't give us what we can handle, God helps us handle what we are given." Pray and one baby step at a time. My thoughts are with you. Julie