As you all know I went for my scope yesterday. The good news is they didn't find anything because of course I wasn't bleeding yesterday. The bad news is they didn't find anything. LOL. There were no growths or broken blood vessels seen. However, now we still have no idea what was causing it. My parents asked if it could do with stress and he said absolutely not. So the doctor told my parents that if I started bleeding again to call him and they would do another scope that day. For now though that is something else I can cross off my worry list. Again the power of prayer and God are at work in my life.
As for how I am doing today. I know it is hard to put into words, but I am at peace with everything that has happened. I am settling into my new life and actually loving it. I am OK with being a single parent and not having a man in my life. My parents have told me that they are beginning to see the happy person in me they haven't seen in years. They say I seem more relaxed and happy. I did begin to decorate for Christmas yesterday, but I am keeping it simple in case I need to move out in a hurry. Yes, I am giving him MY home that I love. I just can't afford it and I think I would like to move to a smaller more affordable place. Anyway, I have forgiven him and and am being the bigger person and not saying harsh things to him other than I would like to see him start giving me a little money to help support our son. This of course is making him angry and he is lashing out and now trying to say I was having an affair before he left me, which is very untrue. He is also saying very hurtful things about the last 9 nine years we were married which again are untrue. But you know I am letting the comments roll off and not falling into his bitterness, anger, and emotionally controlling ways (yes my counselor pointed this out). He doesn't understand why I am not more upset about this whole thing. You know all I can say is I don't know, but I do know that I am happier with the way things are now. When I see him I feel pity and sorrow and nothing else. I know this is weird, but I don't even feel any type of love for him at all even if he did give me our son. Anyway, I am at work so I better get busy.