Sunday, November 9, 2008

The Last Chorus Has Been Sung

We are now officially done. I confronted him and his "friend" last night and it was confirmed they have been having an affair. I never trusted this "friend" from the day they started working together. His clothes are on the porch and I told him to get his stuff out. I went hysterical after he left and it could have been much worse. He took my son to HER house where he told me that he would be spending the night even though I am not comfortable with that. Today my mood is anger to make myself calm for when he drops off my son and we talk about visitation and finances. I feel like I could just scream and cry and kick and punch. I am trying to keep my composure because my DD wants nothing to do with him and has been staying with me. He kept telling me she was just a friend that he always had girls as friends in high school. I trusted him I even confronted him a long time ago about her and he denied it. Now I have no trust left in him. Well, I need to prepare myself for the visit see you later.
Pin It

20 comments:

Janene said...

Aww, Mary.
I am so sorry to here that.
I'm telling you, those pills can work wonders, can't they?
I am so glad that you haven't given up blogging.
Your posts were one of the firsts that I read.
Time to put your anger and energy into creating the wonderful prim items that you make.
That really sucks that he did this to you, and on your anniversary too!
Sock it to him! LOL
~Janene~

Tomatoe Creek Prims said...

Mary,
I'm so sorry you have to go thur this, when trust is gone in a partner...it's over. Believe it or not this is a learning experience for you although you don't realize it right now. My X left me for someone else too so I do know what you are going thur...it hurts I know. Things will get better though but will take time.
My thoughts are with you and your kids...take care:)
Rondell

Kristie said...

I always read your blog but have only left a comment a couple of times. I must say, I feel your hurt! I am now married to my 2nd husband which is a Godsend, my first husband was sent from hell! :) It is hard anytime you have to go through this. My mom also divorced after 34 yrs of marriage. My dad decided he loved my mom's friend! It was sooooo hard on her, and hard for us kids having to watch her go through it.
Kristie

the purple plum said...

Mary you stand firm.My father left my Mother after 35 years,for a younger women.She fought for everything she deserved ,you should too.
Stay strong and dive into Primitives !I always goto the computer and lose myself in all the wonderful sites when i am feeling down.
Keep your head up and be the better person thru this.Hugs m

This Country Girl said...

Mary,

I just want to cry and be angry with you at the same time as I read your words! I wish there was something I could do to make you feel better. I know I can pray for you...as a matter fact, I just did and will continue to do so.

Tammy

Jo-Anne said...

Mary--my heart is breaking for you and your sweet children. I am so sorry that your husband decided to make choices that are selfish and hurtful.
You are in my thoughts and prayers. Hang in there, my friend. May the Lord bless and keep you.
oxox

pinetrees on the moor said...

Hi Mary, i am so sorry for all that you are going through just now.Everyone is here for you.Take good care of your self.Remember to keep bloging even if you don't feel like it it will help you vent all your feelings.Take good care of yourself and children.Hugs~Kate~

carolyn at cranberry crossings: said...

Mary, I am so sorry! It is so unfair to cheat like that and so many do it. I hope the anger and knowing the truth will push the healing process forward so you can begin to move on.
I truly believe the anger part of it is a good thing. Let yourself have time to grieve over this so you can get past it. I know it seems impossible at this point, but time will help.
Be good to yourself and hang in there.
I will faithfully pray for all of you.

Linda said...

Mary,

I don't think there is anything I can say the other gals haven't already said. I am so sorry. I hope you find a great lawyer and get the support and health insurance and finances you need, for your sake and the kids.

I will be praying for you my friend. hugs, Linda

Kimberly said...

One day at a time, Mary.

I will pray that the support you need from those you love will just surround you right now.

I honestly can't say that I've gone through anything like this, but that doesn't make me feel any less empathy for you. Please know that you are loved and surrounded in prayer by your blogging friends!
Blessings, Kimberly

simple~needs said...

ya know...
i would like to smash him in the mouth for the lying, the cheating...... that pi$$e$ me off.
no one deserves that.
get your butt on the phone with child support in the morning!!
let them know he is no longer there. you do not have to wait till it goes up for a divorce, start the support order now. i know, i did it. divorce is soo much easier when the child support is already established.

you are going to make it through this. and you are going to go on with life. even though right now it seems like that is alot to think about....... try to stay calm.... if you need to cry, well, by gosh, do it!! throw darts at his pic or at him if you can get by with . ;)
we love you, mary!!!

Terri said...

I have been reading your blog for months now and I am so sorry for what you are going through. I've been through it myself, and it's awful. The good news is, you do find your way through the darkness and often find something better on the other side. So, have faith and hang in there. Please let us all know if there's anything we can do.

Terri

Peper Creek Gatherings said...

Mary- I couldn't say anything better than all the other gals! I got your email, and will send off your special package tomorrow..I can't wait for you to get it! We are all here for you and your are in everyones prayers. Justina

Cindy B said...

My dd went through something similar...the office coworker, good friends...right.. well He tried to talk her into them settling things "between themselves without the expense of a lawyer"...what ever you do...go get a lawyer and let him tell hubby the terms..
This is the most disgusting thing I can imagine happening to a family....a dad that does this to his wife and kids. He is at fault and will eventually try to make you feel the blame...do not bnelieve that for a minute..go call an attorney in the am.

Anonymous said...

My heart is so heavy for you Mary~~~
I am so sorry.
Debbie
3daughters

Karen said...

Mary, I am so sad to hear this. I do know how this feels! I'm may be way out of line here, but, I wouldn't give an inch more than I had to where your family is concerned. I know they are his kids, but he has just ruined what they used to have. I don't remember if you are settled permanantly, or renting, or?, but I would not be compliable, because imo he needs to know immediately what he just ruined and gave up. Maybe he will repent? I hate it when a parent does this to a family, then expects everyone to work out "their" issues with what "he" did. It makes everyone else have to learn to live with the hurt and they go one and have their cake and eat it too. Like I said, I may be way out of line, I'm sure I don't know the whole story, but I definitely wouldn't make a thing easy on him, not to be mean, but to make sure he realizes what he has done and that HE will suffer for it, too. Sorry if I'm being offensive, I just really feel for you. Hang in there, keep yourself together for your kids, you can get through it. Karen

Merrie. said...

I am sorry for your pain; I have loved to visit you and if you keep writing Im gonna keep visiting; writing is good for you and we will all help you ! I wish I could do more; but hey, can we all carpool over to your house and kick some you know what? Why he is a dirty dog; you may have had some responsibility as you say BUT: no marriage WAS EVER fixed by having an affair; I notice you sure did not have one! You are destined for something better; a better mate and a better life; but you have to let go of the pain and aggravation; God can't give you something else if your hands are still holding on to the old junk!!! You know what they say; the best revenge is living well! He will live to regret his ways belive me; but you will be renewed and will have more joy than you have ever had. You are strong and talented! You are also a good person and will now reap all the good you have sown in the past! Keep your head up and keep taking steps forward. I have a lot of knowledge in this dept. and I know you WILL come through stronger and more self assured and self reliant than you ever thought. Don't isolate yourself; get out with friends; do something FUN for yourself; rely on your friends; they will be there for you. I wish I lived nearby; I would take you to the day spa and then we would go get us some margaritas! LOL: Please keep in touch; I think we all will worry about you; but we know you are gonna be all right in the end!!! Love to you from me and the fur kids! Merrie

Mrs. Trixi said...

Mary, I wish there was something I could do or say to make this all better for you but ofcourse, I can't. I am praying for you and your kids.
As for the "happy pills", if your inlaws read here, I don't know that I would post about them. The "other woman" could become vindictive and it could come back to haunt you. I have seen/heard it before.

basketsnprims said...

Mary, I, too, can't say anything the others haven't said. Please take care of yourself and your children. I would get a good lawyer at this point but that's only my opinion. You have to protect yourself and your children.

Pam

Sara said...

Hi Mary, I just found your blog and Omgosh, I swear we are pretty much going thru the same thing! My hubby hasnt been around much the past month, I found out he met a little whore that is only 21 (we are 26) he swears that nothing is going on, but my gut says otherwise... thruout our 5 1/2 years together, anytime something bad would happen, he would want a divorce, but we always "worked" thru it.... he went missing for 2 days 4 weeks ago, and hasnt come home many nights.. i have fought sooooo hard for our marriage, not even for the girls (we have 2 girls, ages 2 and5) I just love him so much.. well, saturday morning, with him still not home from going out, i text him "you win" i packed up his shit, put it on our butlers bar and text him to come and get it... which he did within a few hours with one of his friends that has been a huge issue between us....well, his friend josh and my mil got into a HUGE verbal fight!!! thank goodness my oldest was with my mom and my youngest was napping! then later that night, my mil, fil, and myself went out uptown (we live in a small town) and joshs dad tried to fight my fil!!!!!! my hubby is just sooooooooooooo depressed and he drinks alot. he has admited he has a problem, but he is too damn stubborn to get help. ugh. anywho, i feel for you. God is good and will help us thru this!