Oh I am at the point of wondering if things can get worse. I am not adjusting well to my medication so they added another one to help me sleep and not have my cold sweats all night long. Then yesterday I started to urinate blood and feel awful on top of. I am suppose to go back to the doctors tomorrow for that. I do not have the money to go as my husband has decided he will not help me until child support is ordered by the court. UGGHHHH!!!! Then my plumber informs me my hubby stiffed him for $400 that I never knew about. I have already explained to the kids that Christmas will be very small from me this year and my son has told me that it's alright if I don't buy him anything as his Dad and grandparents will and that will be enough. (Yes I am crying as I write this.)
On the up side if there is one... My neighbors are looking out for me. The one lady across the street invited me to make Christmas cookies with her. The other neighbor watches my house when he knows we are there and when we aren't and makes sure we're OK. Then my Dad called me today to tell me he knew some people who had rentals, here in the town I live in, that would be willing to for go the security deposit for a place for me when I'm ready to move. I am turning the corner on the depression and have been laughing the past few days. I have had friends coming out of the woodwork wanting to do stuff, but I just can't seem to push myself to go. I would rather stay in the house and be with my kids or by myself. I am getting better with the visitation stuff though I still don't like the living arrangements. I am trying to provide a stable place with lots of hugs and kisses here. I am still going to counseling once a week and it is helping as well as talking about things and getting it out in the open. Thanks to everyone for checking in on me and emailing me it is helping me to get through this.