Monday, November 17, 2008

This is Taking its Toll

Oh I am at the point of wondering if things can get worse. I am not adjusting well to my medication so they added another one to help me sleep and not have my cold sweats all night long. Then yesterday I started to urinate blood and feel awful on top of. I am suppose to go back to the doctors tomorrow for that. I do not have the money to go as my husband has decided he will not help me until child support is ordered by the court. UGGHHHH!!!! Then my plumber informs me my hubby stiffed him for $400 that I never knew about. I have already explained to the kids that Christmas will be very small from me this year and my son has told me that it's alright if I don't buy him anything as his Dad and grandparents will and that will be enough. (Yes I am crying as I write this.)

On the up side if there is one... My neighbors are looking out for me. The one lady across the street invited me to make Christmas cookies with her. The other neighbor watches my house when he knows we are there and when we aren't and makes sure we're OK. Then my Dad called me today to tell me he knew some people who had rentals, here in the town I live in, that would be willing to for go the security deposit for a place for me when I'm ready to move. I am turning the corner on the depression and have been laughing the past few days. I have had friends coming out of the woodwork wanting to do stuff, but I just can't seem to push myself to go. I would rather stay in the house and be with my kids or by myself. I am getting better with the visitation stuff though I still don't like the living arrangements. I am trying to provide a stable place with lots of hugs and kisses here. I am still going to counseling once a week and it is helping as well as talking about things and getting it out in the open. Thanks to everyone for checking in on me and emailing me it is helping me to get through this.
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Justina said...

Oh Mary! UFFDA.. I wish I lived next door, to help you! I Keep your chin up- take it day by day... I hope you get your package soon! Justina

countrygirl3031 said...

Hi Mary ~ could you send me your address via email ( I want to get you something for your kids for Christmas. I know it's not much, but I want to do it. Please let me know there ages also!

Take care will survive!


~Jess said...

*HUGS* I wish I were closer so that I, too, could lend a hand or a shoulder.

AnnaSam said...

I am still keeping you in my prayers. You will make it thru this trial.I think we should all have a city that we all live in called blogland and we all live around eachother so when one of us is going thru something we all can be there.

Tina said...

I think of you often and I know this must be so difficult. Hugs and kisses are priceless and in the end, those are the gifts your kids will remember the most.

This simple Life said...

Mary I keep thinking about you and wishing I could do something. I can't believe your husbands behavior! The girlfriend must have talked him out of helping.

Don't worry about your kids Christmas their are kids all over the world who will be have having a small Christmas this year. They will remember how their mom was there for them. Great big hugs.

janie said...

Oh mary better days are coming!! The important thing is you have each other. The kids will remember that you are there for them. Hugs, Janie

Terri said...

Hang in there - it will get better. As for your husband refusing to help, well, karma is not nice to people who behave that way, and it will not look good when you get in front of the judge. So, let him dig a big hole for himself.

I hope you feel better soon! Is there a low-priced clinic in your town that can tide you over 'til you get on your feet?

We're all thinking of you.


ohiofarmgirl said...

Well, the others have already covered so much of what I was thinking...but I just don't know where you get such a brave heart. I know that blessings are coming your way so be watching for them...when God closes the door He opens the window...Dianntha

Jo-Anne said...

You are a fantastic mom! Please hang in there.
Take people up on their offers to help. If for nothing else but to keep your mind occupied on something other than the hard stuff.
You are loved. YES, you are!
PS-just give that plumber your husbands contact info!

Cricket said...

I'm glad that you found laughter again. I wish you'd find a lot more along with a whole bucket full of cash, too.

Black Sheep Lisa said...

Sending ya a great big HUG Mary!
Each day is a new beginning, and with the help of the good Lord you will be fine.

Anonymous said...



Diane B said...

Mary just remember 1 thing..
If God takes you to it, he will get you through it.....I wish I lived closer to help ya out also.
Come back home to primmart that will help take your mind off things a bit more.. hugs Dianeb

Julie said...

Mary---there are angels among us--they will lift you and do for you when you can't, so be sure to let them. Our Christmas will be small this year, too, as I'm sure many others will be. What your kids will remember the most about this Christmas is how much their Mom loves and cares about them. Praying for you and still thinking of you....Julie

Karen said...

Mary, I hate that you have to go through this. No one should have to. I don't know how it is in your state, but I would go through the state to get them to start child support, that way, they watch to see if you get it. I'd be tempted to move farther away, but I'm mad!

Linda said...

Mary, I am so sorry he is not seeing it is the kids that will suffer too. I am so glad there are folks close by who can and are helping. Don't hesitate to use any community agencies either until he starts paying his fair share. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. hugs, Linda

~*Marie*~ said...

Mary, keep your chin up, you are doing the best you can and your kids will know it. Talking it out helps you get through it so don't feel that you can't speak your mind here for fear of losing readers, we are all so concerned for you. Hugs and prayers to you and your kids.....

Back in the Day said...

I have been keeping you in my prayers. I am glad that things are looking up for you (even slightly!). I hope that you find more and more reasons to smile!

carolyn at cranberry crossings: said...

Mary, I know this must feel so surreal. But it sounds like you are holding your own and coping. Do whatever it takes to help you and your kids get through this.
I'm so glad to hear that so many care about you and are looking out for you.
Please take good care of yourself as best you can. We are all praying for all of you!

Leslie said...

Well, I'm happy to hear that you're feeling a bit better....that you're at least able to laugh a bit. I'm also very happy to hear that you are surrounded by many wonderful and loving people! It's great to see how thoughtful and caring people can be in a time of need :)

I'm sorry to hear about everything else, though. It doesn't make it any better but hearing what you've said about your hubby stiffing people money and refusing to pay the child support...reminds me of a few divorces that I've heard about in the past...and honestly, Mary, your hubby has probably been planning this for awhile. Like my Dad was FLOORED when my Mom left, until he sat down and looked over the checking account and bills and realized my Mom was putting money back for a bit. The same thing happened with my hubby's uncle and aunt and she left him in debt up to his eyeballs. How can people that once said they loved you with all your heart do that to you? It's horrible. You can be unhappy and decide to end a marriage, but you don't have to take it that far! And to pick such a horrible time of the year to do it, too! Honestly, you deserve way far better than that, Mary and you will find him in time! I just know you will...

Many, many hugs to you!


Meaghan said...

I wanted to introduce myself: My name is Meaghan and I know what it is to struggle. I am so sorry you are going through all this. I think it is wonderful that you are blogging about it and not just letting the frustration eat away at you!

I know what it is like to struggle financially. When I was diagnosed with end stage cancer my insurance company dropped me. I was in school and no money, no job and now no insurance. Cancer bled my family dry financially. I survived but only to be faced with so many financial difficulties daily.

People who have never suffered financially cannot understand how powerless it makes you feel. I was wondering how old your son is? Also, you had entered one of my coffee giveaways (from my boyfriends online coffee shop Get The Bean) I would like to send you some coffee. could you email me your address? Do you like regular or decaff? My email is

I will be thinking of you!